Repent, sinner

“When I went to the alter, I was looking around and I was just thinking, ‘This is the time that I want to be with you, God.'”

It would be small of God to say, “Sorry, but you misspelled alter, so go to hell.” God wouldn’t do such a thing.

But I might.

Let’s set straight the age-old question of alter vs. altar.

• The altar is the religious thing. You go there, you kneel at it. It’s a noun.

• To alter is an everyday thing. You change something. You alter it. It’s a verb.

If you use the wrong one, it’s a sin.