Allies: your attention, please

  • “…officials disagreed … but sought to manage him rather than confront him, as Mattis did, while enlisting other allies, such as the Israelis and members of Congress, to lobby Trump for a reversal.”

Wait. Who enlisted other allies? Officials? Him? Mattis?

The commas before and after “as Mattis did” … what do they tell us?

They tell us the writer was on a roll, and just kept adding phrases, assuming we were rolling too. But a reader isn’t on the writer’s roll. The reader is absorbing all this detail cold. We need each phrase to inform the previous phrase.

“As.” “While.” I officially disagree with the order to use these slippery words.

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